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I think you misunderstand the disease.

What this is called is survivorship bias. The question I would ask is how much mail are you not seeing at all because it's dropped at the edge first thing because it's IP block listed?

Next, how much spam are you seeing from them because they and Google are the largest providers on Earth? Kind of like selecting a random person from the population in the US and going "look, it's a white guy". Yea, that's how statistics works.

Lastly, because the are good at blocking spam at the edge, then that's the last bastion of attack for spammers to put their efforts in if they want any return at all.

I self-host and don't have a spam filter. Spam makes up about 1 in 5 messages I receive. It's always the same spam campaigns that would be easily filtered with a few regexes.

Self-hosting allows me to use a different receiving address for each entity I contact, so I know exactly who put me on spam lists and if it gets bad I can route that address to the garbage bin.

It's been a while since I've been an SMTP server admin but when I was I managed a few hundred thousand mailboxes under different domains. Most likely know one knows about your domain and it has little traffic. On average I saw users domains get around 5 spam to 1 ham. Of course you have outliers. I had one domain that received around 1000 spam to 1 ham. That was a domain that looked like it could belong to a university and it got absolutely flooded.

Anecdotes are not a great thing to run mail servers on, broad statistics are.

Sorry but bastions are defensive.