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hbn | on: Microsoft offers mass buyouts for roughly a quarter of its workforce
> Introducing a Voluntary Exit Offer

Headline is making me laugh cause it sounds like a press announcement for a new product

"The new Microsoft Voluntary Exit Offer, thinner, and lighter, with 20% slimmer bezels than before"

edstarch | parent | next
Our smartest, most capable Exit Offer yet.
nunez | root | parent | next
And we think you're gonna love it.

_wait_

geodel | root | parent
One more thing: Don't hit the door on your way out!
geodel | parent | next
It could be an enterprise product bundled with some MS365 SKUs. They know a lot of MS customers would need such thing in coming years.
fudged71 | parent | next
The new Office, 25% slimmer
carpe171 | parent | next
queue the don draper meme
icepush | root | parent
cue
ambione | root | parent
too late, it's queued up. Currently playing : "Co-pilot's greatest hits"
heresie-dabord | parent | next
"Shareholders will love it! Our company has never told staff to get stuffed better!"
tavavex | parent
This sounds like satire, but I don't think we're far off from major tech companies announcing layoffs alongside new products at keynotes. After all, their purpose is to drive consumer and investor hype.