You aren’t downvoted on Wikipedia. And people have been complaining about heavy handed editors and mods there for a long time. Same with SO.
It’s pretty much a meme now.
Wikipedia at least has a culture where (most of the time) if you’re objectively rude or mean, especially to newbies, you’re at least shunned a bit.
Strict moderation etc isn’t a bad thing, but the environment and culture you mould is what matters.