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Workaround:

  gpedit.msc
  Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > System > Device Installation
  Prevent automatic download of applications associated with device metadata
  Set to enabled
  OK
On home editions sans gpedit.msc:

  sysdm.cpl
  Hardware tab
  Click Device Installation Settings
  Under 'Do you want to automatically download manufacturers' apps for your devices?', select 'No'
  Save Changes
Worth noting that gpedit.msc isn't included in Windows Home editions (although there are unsupported ways of adding it). This is also technically asking a lot for working around issues that shouldn't exist.

Microsoft needs to intervene here, this cannot be a normal expectation for using their product.

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Very helpful, thank you. But it does remind me of that Yzma quote in The Emperor's New Groove: "Why do we even have that lever?"
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This is getting technical enough that you might as well install Linux if you figure out how to do this.

In other words, we all know that regular consumers will never find this and they’ll never understand that their LG software is spyware in the first place.

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I had a mouse that would keep on installing its driver when plugged in, even with this setting off.

I remember Windows keeping a cache of autodownloaded drivers ("Driver Store") and reinstalling them when the device is plugged in, so the mouse bloatware kept on coming back.

Is this still the case?

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> On home editions sans gpedit.msc:

I've managed to generally avoid running Windows (at home and at work) for a long time now, but if there was a situation where I needed to get a PC (at home?), is there a recommended least-sucky way of living with?

Are there editions or scripts or a setup workflow that would make it suck less?

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Superior workaround:

1. Reset machine 2. Tap the BIOS setup key (often DEL) during the time before it boots. 3. Insert intallation media for a decent OS 4. ...