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I like the definition of social rules [0]. I also wonder whether the roof rule was written preemptively or retrospectively -- I hope the former.

I have my own thanks to give to HN. It's connected me to interesting people, online and IRL. It's led to some very strong friendships. It's led me to multiple job opportunities, and usually the better ones. It's changing of course, but I've had a great time in this community so far, and that deserves thanks.

0: https://www.recurse.com/social-rules

> I also wonder whether the roof rule was written preemptively or retrospectively -- I hope the former.

Presume you're referring to [1], not the page you linked, and one might be inclined to accuse you of __feigning surprise__ but if not: using the roof is a quite common expectation in mid-rise buildings in big cities like NY, though not usually in a building you don't yourself own/lease in.

1. https://www.recurse.com/code-of-conduct

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I love the "no backseat driving" rule. That kind of behaviour is what caused me to stop engaging with StackOverflow.
I'm surprised by the "you are not allowed to be surprised, ever" rule. It puts me off of recurse entirely.

I shouldn't even need to explain why as it should be self-evident that policing/banning a completely natural and sometimes highly beneficial emotion/reaction is beyond problematic.

It seems like an XY problem - they implemented it to solve a genuine problem, without understanding the problem.

Like, the canonical example they give is

> Dan: What’s the command line?

> Carol: Wait, you’ve never used the command line?

Surely everyone can imagine at least two versions of Carol.

1. Condescending and dismissive. Indeed, that's not behaviour anyone should be tolerating.

2. Thrilled to be able to introduce someone to something new. She might follow that question up with "oh come on over here, let me show you! This will change your life." and proceed to try to teach terminal stuff. Isn't this the best sort of teacher, someone who is infectiously passionate about something?

Dan may still respond negatively to Carol2, but that's Dan's problem - he needs a therapist of some sort to address whatever insecurities he has.

Now, you might say "The rule is about FEIGNED surprise", which is Carol1. But it explicitly says

> When someone acts surprised when you don’t know something, it doesn’t matter whether they’re pretending to be surprised or actually surprised.

Then goes on to describe the version of Dan that needs therapy

> The effect is the same: the next time you have a question, you’re more likely to keep your mouth shut. An accurate name for this rule would be no acting surprised when someone doesn’t know something,

No, that's not how I or any other well-adjusted person would react.

A better name for the rule is "don't be a dick. Everyone is here to help each other learn and grow" (and there might be a separate rule/policy/resource about how people who have not yet learned how to positively and productively control their emotions - which I am not denigrating, simply pointing out reality - can seek assistance with that as well).

In the end, IT DEPENDS. But there's apparently no room for such nuance at Recurse...

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How did you connect with people from hn and made irl friendships with them?
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I wonder if they have a rule on using AI and what their general stance is there.
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