I feel like stored procedures and co crosses over into the realm of application programming, and while I can't speak from experience (so take this with a huuuuge grain of salt), this is where things break down. It feels like adding logic / basic programming to JSON/YAML, which are data/config languages primarily.

I think stored procedures - or anything that goes beyond storing / looking up data - had a place when a database had multiple different clients, but with modern day systems that's less likely to be an issue.