If you don't deploy in tandem, you need to test forwards & backwards compatibility. That's tough with either a monorepo or separate repos, but arguably it'd be simple with separate repos.
It doesn't have to be that complicated.
All you need to know is "does changing this code affect that code".
In the example I've given -- a React SPA and Go backend -- let's assume that there's a gRPC binding originating from the backend. How do we know that we also need to deploy the SPA? Updating the schema would cause generation of a new client + model in the SPA. Now you know that you need to deploy both and this can be done simply by detecting roots for modified files.
You can scale this. If that gRPC change affected some other web extension project, apply the same basic principle: detect that a file changed under this root -> trigger the workflow that rebuilds, tests, and deploys from this root.